A couple and their young daughter open the door to their apartment. The woman bends down to pick up the newspaper under their door.
Candace Dyson: Oh, excuse me, baby. Oh, boy.
Reggie Dyson: Home sweet home.
Simone Dyson: Can we get Midnight from the kennel now?
Reggie Dyson: We'll get him as soon as we're settled, okay?
Simone Dyson: I'm hungry.
Candace Dyson: Let Mommy get situated, then I'll make you a bowl of hot cereal, okay?
Simone Dyson: Okay.
Candace Dyson: Come here. Honey, you said you were gonna wash the dishes before we left.
Reggie Dyson: Didn't you make the bed before we left?
Candace Dyson: Someone's been sleeping in our bed?
Simone Dyson: Someone's been sleeping in my bed, too, and he's still there!
Candace Dyson: What? Baby, go wait in our room.
Simone Dyson: Is he asleep?
The parents investigate and the man on the bed is dead
At Castle’s loft, Rick closes the front door after picking up the paper.
Castle: Oh, ho! Yeah! That's what I'm talking about!
Martha: Darling, must you talk so loud? Some of us are still waking up.
Alexis: What's all the excitement about?
Castle: Only The New York Ledger's annual 10 Most Eligible Bachelors list, and guess who's on it?
Alexis: Who?
Castle: I don't know, but he must be the president of the Really-Good-Looking Club.
Martha: Huh. Ranked number nine. Weren't you number seven last year?
Castle: Yes, and thank you for pointing out my shortcomings once again, Mother.
Martha: That's my job.
Alexis: Luckily, all my friends are beyond print media.
Castle: What about this is embarrassing?
Alexis: Nothing. It's the secret dream of every 16-year-old to have their father crowned one of the most available hotties of the year.
Martha: Well, according to this, your father may not be on the market. You didn't read the blurb here? "Though claiming to be single, Richard Castle is rumoured to be romantically involved with NYPD Detective Kate Beckett."
Castle: What?
Martha: "The inspiration for Nikki Heat, the heroine of his latest best-selling novel. Bachelor number nine may not be eligible for next year's list."
Castle: Where did they get that?
Alexis: Let me see.
Castle: I didn't say anything like that in my interview.
Alexis: Detective Beckett is not going to love this.
Castle: Well, maybe she'll just laugh it off.
Martha and Alexis scoff.
Martha: How is it, for a man who is surrounded by women, that you know so little about us?
Castle's cell rings.
Castle: Speak of the devil. Okay, either Beckett's calling because there's a dead body, or because she read the article.
Martha: Pray for murder.
Alexis crosses her fingers and Castle answers.
Castle: Good morning.
He covers the phone.
Castle: Dead body, I'm good.
At the Dysons' apartment, Esposito interviews the family as Castle enters.
Esposito: No one else had access to your home, not even your maid?
Candace Dyson: No.
Esposito: Nobody like that? Okay.
Castle spots the Ledger sitting on a table and snatches it so Beckett won't see it.
Esposito: Okay. Thank you. And your daughter... Your daughter's school, they knew about...
Esposito points Castle towards Beckett.
Esposito: They knew about you guys going out of town?
Castle enters the girl's bedroom where Lanie and Beckett are leaning over the body. Castle tries to gauge Beckett's mood to see if she knows about the article.
Beckett: What?
Castle: What, what? So, what've we got?
Lanie: Your guess is as good as mine. John Doe. No ID. Approximate time of death is between nine last night and one this morning.
Beckett: The family found him after returning from vacation. Apparently, he made himself quite at home.
Castle: How so?
Beckett: Well, we found his food in the fridge, toiletries in the bathroom, even some of his clothes in the dryer.
Castle: A real-life Goldilocks.
Beckett: Mm-hmm. It looks as though he even slept in the parents' bed.
Castle: Well, of course. That one was too hard, and Baby Bears bed was just right. Looks like he struggled.
Lanie: Unsuccessfully. Here, you see that? It's a needle mark from a syringe. Probably was injected with something that stopped his heart. I'll run toxicology. As soon as I can pinpoint a COD, I'll give you a call.
Beckett: Great, thank you.
Lanie: Mm-hmm.
Beckett and Castle move through the other rooms.
Esposito: Hey.
Castle: You know who kills with syringes? Mad doctors and B-movie Nazis. Why not just use a gun?
Beckett: Guns are loud. I've seen squatters in abandoned buildings, but nothing like this.
Castle: And then someone sneaks in and kills him with a needle. Weird.
Beckett: How're the Dysons doing?
Esposito: Mom and Dad are pretty shaken up. Little girl doesn't really know what's going on.
Beckett: Did anyone know they were leaving town?
Esposito: Just people from work, daughter's school, stuff like that. We're running them down.
Ryan: Hey, check this out. Dysons found this in the kitchen. Said it's not theirs.
Ryan hands Beckett a camera and she flips through the photos.
Beckett: This is here.
Ryan: Yeah. Weird, huh?
Beckett: Why would he take pictures?
Castle: So he could put everything back the way he found it.
Beckett: He was hoping nobody would know that he was here.
Castle: Almost as though he was hiding.
Beckett: Alright, have a tech pull the memory card. See if any of the deleted photos can tell us who he is.
At the police station, Ryan and Esposito look over the Ledger.
Esposito: Ooh. She is gonna kill him.
Ryan: He's dead. So, Castle, is it true? You finally off the market?
Castle panics, grabs the paper and hides it.
Castle: Guys, seriously, if you breathe a word of this, I swear I will make you...
Beckett: Montgomery's up to speed. Anything back from the Dysons' workplace or the kid's...school?
Esposito: I ran background checks on everyone who knew the family was gonna be out of town. So far, everyone's come back clean, but I'm gonna keep digging.
Beckett: Anything on the canvass?
Ryan: Whole lot of nothing. No doorman in the building. None of the Dysons' neighbours noticed anything out of the ordinary.
Esposito: Shocker. I've lived in my spot eight years, I couldn't pick my neighbours out of a lineup.
Castle: Well, that's Manhattan for you. Nobody notices anything unless it affects them directly.
Beckett's cell rings.
Esposito: Unless it's in the paper.
Beckett: Excuse me. (on cell) Beckett.
Castle tries to grab the paper Esposito holds up for Beckett to see.
Beckett (on cell): Great. Okay, good. (hangs up) Got a hit off of John Doe's fingerprints. Douglass Bishop. He's in the system.
Esposito puts the paper down, but keeps his hand over it so Castle can't snag it while he looks up the victim in the database. Castle covers up his photo with his hand.
Esposito: Douglass Bishop. Arrested once, ten years ago. Misdemeanor, drunk and disorderly. Charges were dropped. Besides that, he's clean.
Beckett: Alright, find the next of kin. After they ID the body, maybe they can tell us what the hell he was doing in that apartment.
At the Autopsy room.
Lanie: I got the results back from the lab. He was injected with an anesthetic, ketamine.
Castle: Special K? He was killed by a club drug?
Lanie: Not in this dose. Whoever shot up Mr. Bishop was not looking to get him high. Gave him enough to put down a horse.
Morgue assistant: The victim's sister is here.
Beckett: I'm Detective Beckett. Thank you so much for coming down.
Melanie Kopek: Is… Is that him? Is that Doug?
Beckett: That's what we'll need you to verify.
Lanie lifts the sheet and Melanie gasps and turns into her husband's arms.
In the interview lounge.
Stan Kopek: None of this makes any sense. I mean, why would Doug be living in these people's apartment? He's got his own place out in Hoboken.
Beckett: Is it possible that your brother was in trouble? That he was hiding from someone?
Melanie Kopek: No, everybody loved Doug.
Castle: Did he owe anybody money, or have any financial problems?
Melanie Kopek: Not that I know of. I mean, his hours at the travel agency got cut back, but he was getting by.
Castle: Travel agency? Maybe that's how he knew the Dysons were out of town.
Melanie Kopek: But if he were in trouble he would've raided his scuba fund.
Stan Kopek: Yeah. He was always saying that someday when his ship came in, he was gonna get himself a little scuba shop down in Jamaica.
Melanie Kopek: Doug was saving up for it. He would put a portion of his paycheck in an account every month.
Beckett: When was the last time you saw your brother?
Melanie Kopek: Not since the holiday party. Doug's agency threw it out by the airport, which is where Stan works, so we all went. You just never think something like this is gonna happen, so you don't make time.
Stan Kopek: Shh. Okay.
Castle brings Beckett a coffee while she's on the phone.
Beckett: Okay, thank you. (hangs up) That was the travel agency. If Doug was hiding from someone, he wasn't doing a very good job. Apparently, he hasn't missed a day of work until yesterday.
Castle: What about the Dysons' trip?
Beckett: They booked it through a different agency.
Castle: The scuba fund?
Beckett: Didn't touch it.
Castle: So, he wasn't in hiding, he didn't owe anybody any money, and he had no discernible way of knowing when the Dysons would be out of town.
Ryan: Hey, Beckett. The geeks managed to pull the deleted photos from our squatter's memory card. Care to take a look?
They open the files on the computer.
Ryan: Stuff on counters, inside cabinets.
Beckett: That's not the Dysons' place.
Castle: He's done this before, but in other apartments.
Ryan: Maybe he does it for the thrill.
Beckett: Maybe someone found out and got mad.
Castle: Yeah, but he'd still have to know when they were away.
Beckett: Unless Doug Bishop isn't our squatter.
There's a mirror reflection in the camera shot.
Ryan: That's definitely not Doug Bishop.
Castle: Who is he?
Beckett: He's probably our killer.
In the conference room, Castle, Beckett, Ryan and Esposito look over printouts of the deleted photos.
Castle: What kind of psychopath takes pictures of himself and his murder weapons?
Beckett: Some killers keep trophies.
Ryan: In his defense, he did deleted these photos.
Esposito: 45 with a silencer. I wonder what he had lined up for this.
Beckett: Nothing good. Has CSU pulled the prints off of the camera and personal effects?
Esposito: Yeah, they don't match Doug Bishop and they're not in the system.
Beckett: Which means he doesn't have a record.
Castle: Well, if Doug wasn't our squatter, what was he doing in the Dysons' apartment?
Beckett: He had to have known the squatter somehow.
Ryan: If this squatter was so meticulous about putting things back, why'd he leave all this for us to find?
Castle: You're right. It makes no sense.
Beckett: What? No grand theatrical theory to spin for us?
Castle: Honestly, I got nothing.
Esposito: More importantly, we don't have any prints or leads. How are we going to catch a ghost?
Beckett: By finding out how he haunts. If we can figure out how the squatter knew his marks were out of town, find something that connects him to the other places that he's stayed, then maybe we can narrow down the field.
Ryan: We'll keep going through these. With any luck, we'll find something that can tell us whose apartments these are.
Beckett: Okay, great. Thank you.
Castle sees Beckett walk to her desk and pick up the papers. He rushes over.
Castle: Hey.
Beckett: Hey.
Castle: What are you doing?
Beckett: Looking to see who won the game last night.
Castle: Oh, we won.
Beckett: Do you even know what game I'm talking about?
Castle: Sure I do. The big game.
Beckett: Okay, Castle. What's going on?
Esposito: Yo, Beckett. Check this out. He took a picture of the inside of someone's medicine cabinet.
Ryan: You can almost make out the name on these prescription bottles.
Beckett: Have IS take a look at it. See if they can enhance the photo.
Castle takes the paper from Beckett's desk.
In the interview lounge.
Michele Langford: Oh, god. He went through my medicine cabinet? Please tell me he didn't go through my diary.
Beckett: We're not sure, Ms. Langford. Are you sure you don't recognize him?
Michele Langford: Yeah, I'm positive.
Beckett: And you don't know the Dysons.
Michele Langford: No. The only person that knew I was even out of town was my mother. Everyone else thought I was on sick leave. You won't tell my boss that, will you?
Castle: Did you notice anything unusual when you returned?
Michele Langford: Oh, that totally explains it.
Beckett/Castle: What?
Michele Langford: My faucet. For weeks I've been asking my super to fix my leaky faucet, but he never came. And then when I got back, it was fixed, so I just assumed that he finally did it. But then later when I saw him on the stairs, he didn't even know what I was talking about.
Castle: The squatter fixed your sink?
Michele Langford: Yeah. And there was this bottle of, um, like, weird strawberry champagne in the fridge. And I just assumed that one of my friends had left it during a dinner party I had before I left. But none of my friends would have bought such a...
Castle: Cheap bottle of booze.
Michele Langford: Exactly.
Castle: So, he makes repairs, leaves hostess gift. He's the Gentleman Squatter.
Beckett: Who killed a man, so don't make him out to be the houseguest of the year. Thank you for coming in Ms. Langford.
Michele Langford: By the way, that photo in the paper did you no justice. You're much better looking in person.
Beckett: There's a picture of you in the paper?
Michele Langford: So, are you the detective girlfriend?
Beckett: I'm sorry, the what?
Michele Langford: He is such a catch.
Castle is about to say something.
Beckett: Don't. Show me. Now.
In the bullpen, Beckett slams down the paper.
Beckett: Romantically involved?
Castle: Rumoured to be.
Beckett: What did you tell them?
Castle: Nothing! Why would I do that? Do you have any idea what this does to my reputation?
Beckett: Your reputation? What about my reputation?
Castle: I am just as upset as you are. I'm on your team! This is shoddy journalism, and I am two seconds away from cancelling my subscription! My subscription.
Castle dials his cell.
Beckett: Do you have any idea how hard it is to be a female cop? The last thing I need is for you to give them more ammo to...
Castle (on cell): Yes, The New York Ledger, please.
Beckett: What are you doing?
Castle: Langford said that the only person who knew she was on vacation was her mother, but that's not true. If she was actually pretending to be sick, the last thing she'd want is newspapers piling up at her front door.
Beckett: She had the papers held.
Castle (on cell): Yes, your subscription department, please. (to Beckett) Anyone with access to vacation hold information would know exactly who was out of town, and for exactly how long. (on cell) Yes, I would like to verify vacation hold information on two of your subscribers, please. Who am I? I'm... I...
He turns to Beckett.
Castle: I sometimes forget I'm not actually a cop.
Beckett: I don't. (on cell) Hi, this is Detective Kate Beckett with the NYPD. I'd like to speak with your supervisor, please.
At the New York Ledger.
Dale Fickas: I can't really say he looks familiar, but you gotta understand, we have hundreds of employees.
Beckett: Well, how many of them had access to vacation hold information?
Dale Fickas: Well, you got about a dozen in subscriptions, another handful in billing, and of course the newspaper boys themselves.
Beckett: I'm gonna need to see a list of their names.
Dale Fickas: Sure, follow me.
Castle notices Donna Vincennes at her desk and maneuvers his way behind her.
Castle: Donna.
Donna Vincennes: Richard, what are you doing here? You're not mad about number nine, are you? I told my editor to keep you at seven.
Castle: No, no, it's not that. I don't care about that. Much. It's… I just…Why did you say I was dating Detective Beckett?
Donna Vincennes: Oh, well, I just assumed. You kept bringing her up during the interview.
Castle: No, I didn't.
Donna Vincennes: Sure you did. You went on and on about her. "Beckett said the funniest this, she's the best that."
Castle: Really? I did that?
Donna Vincennes: Last year, all you did was talk about yourself.
Castle: Well, Donna, I am very, very single.
Donna Vincennes: Really? Because if you aren't involved, Bachelorette Number Three asked about you this morning. Did you see her? No. Or are you one of those people who never goes below the fold?
Castle: Oh, I go below the fold, it's just, lately, I've been very busy with my second Nikki Heat novel and I...
Donna flips the paper over and Castle catches sight of the bachelorettes.
Castle: Oh, my god.
Donna Vincennes: Mmm-hmm. Amanda Livingston. So, do you want her number? 'Cause she wants yours.
Castle arrives as Beckett goes over the employee list with Dale Fickas.
Beckett: Hey, we got a match. Mickey Carlson, delivery boy. Both the Dysons and Michele Langford are on his route.
Castle: Delivery boy, knew it.
Beckett: Anyway, he didn't show this morning, another carrier had to cover. You know, there's no address on this application. Do you have one on file?
Dale Fickas: No, he never gave us one. And now I know why.
Beckett sees an employee calendar.
Beckett: Says there that payday is tomorrow. Does Mickey do direct deposit or does...
Dale Fickas: Or pickup his own check? Like clockwork. Payroll comes in at ten in the morning, Mickey's here at 10:01.
At the police station.
Ryan: A delivery boy with a silencer and syringes full of ketamine?
Beckett: His job's just a front for whatever business he's really in. Here's a list of all the vacation holds on his route. He could be squatting at any one of them. He's armed, so make sure your teams use extreme caution. Castle and I will set up at the paper, in case he shows.
Esposito: If he's out there, we'll find him.
Ryan: It's ironic, you know. People put in vacation holds to avoid break-ins.
Castle: Good use of irony.
Beckett: So, who's your friend at the paper?
Castle: Oh, Donna Vincennes? She's the one who wrote the blurb about us.
Beckett: There is no us.
Castle: I know that.
Beckett: Did you tell her that?
Castle: Yes, I did. Which worked out, actually, really well for me. As it turns out, Most Eligible Bachelorette Numero Tres, very interested in meeting me. Once the infotainers get a hold of her with me, they're gonna forget all about you and I.
Beckett: I can just see the headlines now, "Nine meets Three at dinner for two."
Castle: Believe it or not, there's a lot of women in this town who like the idea of being romantically linked to me.
Beckett looks down at the photo of Bachelorette #3.
Beckett enters at the autopsy to see Lanie.
Beckett: I have no life.
Lanie: No, Mr. Bishop has no life. That's why he's on my table.
Beckett: I need a date.
Lanie: What?
Beckett: A date, a guy, a man. You're always trying to set me up with people, so here I am. I'm game. What do you got?
Lanie: Okay, what's gotten into you?
Beckett: I get so wrapped up in work. All I want to do is go home where it's quiet. And I'm so tired of quiet, I want loud.
Lanie: Okay. I have the perfect prescription for you.
Beckett: A bradekker?
Lanie: No, no, baby. That's Brad Dekker. That fire-fighter I wanted to set you up with.
Beckett: Is he cute?
Lanie: He was Mr. July in last year's New York Fire-fighter’s calendar.
Beckett: July, huh?
Lanie: Mmm-hmm.
Beckett: They always put the really hot ones in the summer months.
Lanie: Exactly.
At Castle’s loft, Alexis looks up from her homework as Castle enters.
Castle (on cell): Well, then, shall we say around eight? Alright. Me, too. Good night, Amanda. (hangs up) Sorry I missed dinner.
Alexis: There's quiche, if you're hungry.
Castle: Sweet, or savoury, actually. So, how was your day?
Alexis: I had a truly great day. I got pulled out of class and called to the vice principal's office.
Castle: Why? What did she want?
Alexis: You. Here's her number.
Castle: Her number?
Alexis: Oh. And my German teacher, Fraulein Sonnenberg wanted me to tell you, auf Deutsch, "Du hast Sexappeal." She's two years from ordering off the senior menu, but here's her number, too.
Castle: Fraulein Sonnenberg?
Alexis: Too old? That's okay, 'cause my friend Sloan thinks you're real choice. She is 17, but she'll be legal in three months. Hey, maybe we could double?
Castle: Oh, you hate me a little bit right now, don't you?
Alexis: Just a little. What'd Beckett say?
Castle: Oh! I'm sure she'll be fine with it. Maybe even a little flattered.
Alexis slaps his hand away from the quiche he was about to eat and takes away the plate.
Alexis: Flattered.
Castle: I was just gonna... Eat that.
At the New York Ledger, in the print room.
Castle: 10:15. Maybe he's a no-show.
Beckett: Patience, Castle. Hey, have you ever heard of Drago?
Castle: Yeah, it's on The Ledger's Top 10 Most Romantic Restaurants. It's pricey, and impossible to get a table. Unless you know someone. Why?
Beckett: Just looking for a place to go.
Castle: What? Like on a date?
Beckett: Yes, on a date. Why do you sound so surprised?
Castle: Nah, I… No, I just, uh, never figured you for a Drago kind of girl.
Beckett: Really? What kind of a girl do you figure me for, Castle?
Castle: I... It… Oh! There's your boy.
Beckett gets up and badges him.
Beckett: Mickey Carlson? I'm… Hey! Hey!
Beckett chases and catches him, planting his face in a stack of newspapers.
Beckett: Mickey Carlson, you're under arrest for the murder of Douglass Bishop.
In the interview room, Beckett places some photos on the table.
Beckett: This is the ketamine that you used to kill Doug Bishop.
Mickey Carlson: No, no, no. That… That's not mine.
Beckett: Pretty smart, not using the gun, Mickey. That would have been too messy.
Mickey Carlson: That's not my gun. Look, I didn't kill anybody, I swear. I'm not a criminal, alright? I was just squatting there.
Castle: Well, technically, squatting is a crime.
Mickey Carlson: Yeah, a victimless crime, especially the way I do it.
Beckett: If you didn't kill Doug Bishop, then how did he end up dead in the Dysons' apartment?
Mickey Carlson: Guy from the Maitlans' apartment must've killed him.
Beckett: And who are the Maitlans?
Mickey Carlson: People whose apartment I stayed in before the Dysons'.
Beckett: Okay, why don't you start from the beginning and take us through if from there.
Mickey Carlson: Maitlans put a week hold on their paper, which I was psyched about, because they live on East 27th, which has amazing Indian restaurants. So, I pick the lock, I start taking pictures, so I can return everything to its original state. So, I'm taking pictures when I find these syringes on the table. Kind of weird, but I'm thinking maybe one of the Maitlans must be diabetic or something, right? So, I keep going. Then, bam, it hits me. What's a gun with a silencer doing out on the bed? And next to it, I see all this gear.
Beckett: Gear?
Mickey Carlson: Mountain climbing equipment. At this point, I'd seen enough. I decide to get out of there. But just as I'm grabbing my stuff, I hear the door unlock, and I barely reach the closet in time. I could see them through the slats. There was three of them. It was, uh, this guy, a plain-looking dude, and a tough-looking SOB, man, he had a scar on his face, looked like a crescent moon.
Beckett: A crescent moon?
Mickey Carlson: I know, right? It's crazy. Anyway, they head into the back, I take the opportunity to grab my stuff and get the hell out of there. I end up at the Dysons'. Take a load off, I get comfortable, when out of nowhere, the front door opens and him and his friend come in.
Castle: Who, Crescent Moon Scarface?
Mickey Carlson: No, the… The other guy, the plain one. They grab me and demand that I give them their phone back!
Castle: Their phone?
Beckett: Are you making this up as you go?
Mickey Carlson: No, no, no. See, in my race to get out of the Maitlans', I must've grabbed one of their jackets which had their phone in it. But I don't know how they knew.
Castle: Newer phones have GPS, they can track it on the web.
Mickey Carlson: Huh? Well, I didn't want their phone, and I tried to give it back. The guy pulls out a syringe and is ready to stab me with it, but that God for Doug. Oh, man! Doug says, "I didn't sign up for murder." Then they start arguing. And then the syringe guy says, "We've got three mil on the line, he's seen too much." Next thing I know, they're fighting, so I ran out of there.
Castle: I'm just saying it's a really good story. Come on, mysterious bad guys, crescent-shaped scars, hiding in a closet...
Beckett: It sounds like fiction, because it probably is.
Castle: That's too bad. He's a nice guy.
Esposito: So was Jeffrey Dahmer. Didn't stop him from eating people.
Beckett: Where are we on these Maitlans?
Ryan: They're on a cruise ship. We're getting the ship's security to track them down right now.
Beckett: Alright, have them track faster. I need their permission to get into the place.
Castle: Can't we just get a warrant?
Beckett: On the word of a possible murder suspect? Not exactly probable cause. But once we disprove Mr. Carlson's story, we'll be able to press charges for murder.
Beckett's cell rings.
Beckett (on cell): Beckett. Oh, hi, Brad, uh, uh... No. No, no, no, it's not too last minute. Actually, my plans for tonight just fell through.
Beckett walks off to continue her call.
Castle: Who's Brad?
Esposito: Hmm. Must be Lanie's friend.
Castle: You know him?
Esposito: Yeah, met him once. Good guy. Fireman. Was in the FDNY calendar. Chiseled good looks, rock hard abs. Oh, and get this, once during a fire, after saving the parents and the kids, he went back in for the puppies.
Beckett (on cell): See you then.
Castle: Did she just flip her hair?
Esposito: I'm telling you, bro, puppies. Gets them every time.
Ryan (nods): Puppies. (on phone) Yes, Mr. Maitlan?
Beckett finishes her call and walks back to the guys.
Beckett: What?
Castle: You're smiling.
Ryan (on phone): Oh, great. Thank you very much for your cooperation.
Beckett: So?
Ryan (on phone): Goodbye. (hangs up) Hey. We got the Maitlans. We're good to enter. They're calling the super right now.
Beckett: Okay. Let's go.
At the Maitlans' apartment.
Ryan: Stay out here, please, sir.
Esposito: We'll check the back.
Beckett: Okay. Well, surprise, surprise. Nothing here to verify Mickey's version.
Castle: Oh, wow! Look at this.
Beckett: Did you find something?
Castle: Yeah, it's an old-fashioned dumbwaiter. You don't see these around anymore. Genius, too. The Maitlans have converted it into a hidden stereo component cupboard. I bet they have an RF remote somewhere.
Beckett: We're not here to admire the place, Castle.
Castle: How can you not? I mean, look at this place. This apartment is pre-war, late 1800s. Oh, you see this molding? That is the original wood, gorgeous. I bet the bathrooms have marble wainscoting.
Beckett: Ha! You're such a metrosexual.
Castle: Yes, well, better than being a pin-up boy.
Beckett: So you heard? And it's pin-up man, Castle. Pin-up man.
Castle: Yes, well, have fun with your hose-jockey whilst I go out with Nueva York's most eligible bachelorette number three.
Beckett: I guess that mean she must be slumming it. Her being number three and you being a lowly number nine.
Castle: What number were you again?
Beckett: Oh!
Esposito: Place is clear.
Ryan: No gun, no ketamine, no mountain climbing equipment. There is nothing here.
Castle: Yes, there is. An icebox, circa late 1800s. You see, before the invention of modern household refrigeration, people used to keep their perishable items in a box that held ice, hence an icebox.
Beckett: It's not an open house, Castle.
Castle: Oh, the Maitlans were very clever. They converted this into a cupboard, meanwhile, it's right next to their fridge.
Castle shrieks as a body falls out of the fridge.
Castle: I did not expect that.
Beckett: Crescent-shaped scar.
Castle: Looks like there was some truth to Mickey's tale after all.
The detectives gather around the murder board.
Ryan: His name is Anton Francis. Mr. Francis here, not wanting to waste such a sinister looking scar, decided to round out the stereotype with a laundry list of criminal activity, including fencing stolen property, stick-ups and a smash and grab.
Beckett: Do we have time of death?
Ryan: Yes, between 1 and 4 a.m. this morning, which rules out Mickey Carlson. We've verified that he stayed in a homeless shelter last night.
Beckett: So, if Mickey was telling us the truth, then Doug and Mr. Francis clearly got more than they bargained for.
Castle: All by the murderous hand of their partner, the guy who killed Doug with the syringe, our mysterious Third Man.
Beckett: Let's get photos of all of Anton's known associates and former cellmates. If Mickey saw his face, he should be able to ID him for us.
Castle: So how does a man like Douglass Bishop, with no criminal record, get involved with hardened criminals?
Esposito: Simple. They needed him. It seemed convenient to me that the Maitlans were out of town when all this went down, so I did some digging. Turns out, that cruise they're on? They won it in a contest. Only, there is no contest.
Beckett: A phony award letter?
Esposito: Yeah, when they got that and the tickets, they figured why look a gift horse in the mouth? So, guess where the tickets came from.
Beckett: Doug Bishop's travel agency.
Castle: So, the cruise was just a scam to get the Maitlans out of town. The letter says that the cruise had to be this week. Why this week?
Beckett: And why the Maitlans?
Castle: Well, unless our bad guys are into pre-war architecture, there's really nothing in that apartment that's worth anything, except for the audio/visual equipment, which was still there.
Ryan: Why go through so much trouble to get in the Maitlans' apartment?
Beckett: Maybe what they wanted wasn't in the Maitlans' apartment. Maybe they were going to rob someone else, but just needed access.
Castle: The audio/visual equipment. Access. The Maitlans live on the second floor. Running perpendicular to them and whatever is below is the old dumbwaiter shaft. In Gathering Storm, I had Derrick Storm climb up the dumbwaiter shaft to bypass the Czech assassin in order to save the Swiss ambassador's daughter. Maybe our bad guys are using the dumbwaiter to bypass the security of whatever's below them.
Beckett: Which would explain the ropes and the climbing gear. So what's below the Maitlans' apartment?
Castle: A pet shop.
At the pet shop.
Noel du Preez (on phone): Why don't you come get it? I have the largest selection of reptiles in the city. They're my specialty. Okay, thank you, bye-bye. Hi, how is it? Can I, uh, can I help you?
Beckett: And you're sure nothing was stolen?
Noel du Preez: Yeah, I mean, what is there to steal?
Castle moves some furniture aside to reveal the dumbwaiter opening.
Castle: This dumbwaiter's been opened recently.
Noel du Preez: It was open?
Castle: Mickey told us his attacker said there was millions at stake.
Beckett: Mr. Du Preez, what's on the other side of that wall?
Noel du Preez: 28th Street. East side Bank and Trust.
Castle: A bank heist?
At Montgomery's office.
Beckett: It looks like the plan was to cut into the back wall to get into the bank vault on the other side. We called the bank manager, the FBI, but our guys never made it that far.
Montgomery: What went wrong?
Beckett: We don't know. It could have been greed, panic. It looks like our victims might have been betrayed by their partner.
Montgomery: In the old days, you killed your partners after you got the money. And lead on this, uh, Third Man?
Beckett: No. We had our squatter take a look at mug shots of Anton Francis's associates and we didn't find him.
Castle: What if the connection to the Third Man isn't through Scarface, what if it's through Doug?
Montgomery: The travel agent? I thought we went through him.
Beckett: We did. We checked his family, his friends, his co-workers.
Castle: But not his clients. Think about it, maybe that's it. The Third Man books a trip through Doug. Doug starts talking, tells him about his dream of owning a scuba shop in the islands. The Third Man senses his frustration, that's his in. He tells Doug it'll be easy. It's a victimless crime, nobody will get hurt, insurance will pay. Knowing the whole time if the police investigate, they'll track the tickets back through to Doug, not to him. The Third Man remains invisible so long as Doug is dead.
Montgomery: That almost makes sense.
Beckett: Let's run Doug's client list for the past six months. If anything pops, we'll show it to Mickey.
Ryan: Okay.
Beckett: You know, maybe I should cancel tonight.
Montgomery: You're gonna cancel on the guy that risked his life for a bunch of puppies?
Beckett: Sir, you know about my date?
Montgomery: Yes, and despite what you might think, the world is not going to end just because you disappear for a night. And if it does, I'm sure that those two can handle it.
Esposito: Yeah.
Ryan: Yeah, go ahead.
Esposito: Yeah, I need the overtime.
Beckett: Okay, but call me if anything turns up.
Ryan: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, have fun.
Castle: You see how ready she was to cancel on that date?
Esposito: What's it to you, Castle?
Ryan: Yeah, why do you care?
Castle: I'm just saying. Look out, there's a...
At Castle’s loft, Castle's picking out a tie as Alexis enters.
Alexis: Neither of those.
Castle: Hmm?
Alexis: Look.
She takes away the two ties he's holding and puts another one up for him to see in the mirror.
Castle: Oh, you're good. Hey, I know that this can be weird for you, how parents aren't supposed to date.
Alexis: I know you date, Dad. I know you probably do other things that I'm not going to think about and that we'll never, ever mention.
Castle: Fair enough. So, what's wrong?
Alexis: I don't know. I mean, I'm not gonna be here forever. And then who's going to look after you then? Bachelorette Number Three?
Castle: Slow down there. Let's not go buying rings anytime soon. It's just a date.
Alexis: I know. And she seems nice and all. But if that's who you date, I mean, are you really going to find happiness with the kind of person who's a number on a list?
Castle: Well, I already have. You're number one on mine. Look, it's my job to worry about you, not the other way around. I'll be fine.
Alexis: Yeah, that's what you said when you tried to deep-fry a turkey, and we all know how that turned out. I just don't want you to get hurt. Or burn your eyebrows off... Again.
Castle: I'm glad they grew back.
Alexis: They're finally matching.
Castle and Amanda Livingston weave their way into the restaurant.
Amanda Livingston: I heard this place was impossible to get into.
Castle: Excuse me.
Frank: Ricky!
Castle: Frankie! Come here.
Frank: Nice to see you again.
Castle: And you.
Frank: Your table will be ready momentarily.
Beckett: Castle?
Castle: Beckett?
Brad Dekker: I take it you two know each other?
Beckett: Yeah. Brad, this is Richard Castle. We work together.
Castle: Uh, Amanda, this is Kate Beckett. We work together.
Amanda Livingston: Hi. Nice to meet you.
Beckett pulls Castle aside.
Beckett: What are you doing here? You knew that I was coming here.
Castle: I knew you wanted to come here. I didn't think you could get a table last-minute.
Beckett: You got a table last-minute.
Castle: Yeah, I've got connections.
Beckett: So do I. City health inspector.
Castle: Wow. Nice abuse of power.
Brad Dekker: So, Richard, you a cop, too?
Beckett: No, he's a novelist who's been shadowing me on my murder cases.
Castle: Oh, I do a little more than shadowing.
Hostess: Your table is ready.
At dinner. Beckett and Castle separately regale their dates with the story of the case they're working.
Brad Dekker: So, you two working a homicide?
Beckett: Um, a double homicide. It's actually a rather tricky case because the killer is...
Castle: I like to call him the Third Man.
Amanda Livingston: Very mysterious. Sounds like one of your books.
Castle: Yeah, it kind of does. Anyway, he and his two partners...
Beckett: ... Were going to rob a bank. Only he turned on the other two and killed them before they even finished the job. I mean, it doesn't even make any sense, since usually you'd wait until you got the money before you double-crossed your partners.
Castle: I mean, they didn't even have the right equipment to rob a bank.
Amanda Livingston: Well, I'm sure you'll figure it out, eventually. You know, speaking of great mysteries, I saw an incredible play off-Broadway the other night.
Castle: I just wish I could figure out what they were doing with the ketamine.
Beckett: Maybe it had something to do with the pet store.
Brad Dekker: You gonna eat that?
Beckett: Just, it's not like there was really anything to steal there.
Castle: Unless the pet store was just a front for something else.
Amanda Livingston: Waiter, can I have another glass of wine, please?
Beckett: In which case, the owner might have been lying when he said that nothing was stolen.
Brad Dekker: Do you want to have sex with me later?
Beckett: I'm sorry, would you mind if I made a telephone call?
Brad Dekker: Nah.
Beckett: Thanks.
Castle sees Beckett standing up.
Castle: Um... Bathrooms are out by the front, right? Pardon me.
Beckett hangs up the phone and Castle approaches her.
Castle: Have you got something?
Beckett: I was just having Ryan and Esposito run something down for me.
Castle: The pet shop?
Beckett: Yes! How did you know?
Castle: I was thinking the exact same thing, it's probably a front for something.
Beckett: Okay, so they're going to dig up everything they can on the owner. It could be that he's hiding something.
Castle: Right. Well, I should get back to this date.
Beckett: How's yours going?
Castle: Great. Yours?
Beckett: Fantastic. Well, I'll, uh, see you.
Back at dinner.
Amanda Livingston: The pheasant is amazing.
Beckett's phone vibrates.
Beckett: Sorry, that's the station.
Brad Dekker: Yeah, go ahead.
Castle sees Beckett get up again.
Castle: Would you pardon me?
Amanda Livingston: Bathroom again?
Castle meets Beckett by the kitchens.
Castle: So, what'd they find out?
Esposito (on speaker phone): Yo, we ran the pet shop owner, Noel du Preez. He came up clean.
Castle: Really?
Beckett: What about in the past couple of days? Anything unusual?
Ryan: The day before yesterday, customs has him taking possession of half a dozen African Gray Parrots, four baboon spiders, and two black-tailed pythons, all from South Africa.
Castle: Wait a minute, did you ju… Did you say black-tailed pythons from South Africa?
Ryan: Yeah, why?
Castle: Because black-tailed pythons, also known as Indian rock pythons, are not indigenous to that area. Why would they be coming from Africa?
Esposito: Why do you care about some motherfreaking snakes on a motherfreaking plane?
Castle: Because as a murder mystery novelist, I am highly paid to think like a bad guy. Here are a few fun facts about snakes, they are cold-blooded, they swallow huge amounts and they digest their food very slowly.
Beckett: Perfect for smuggling.
Castle: And it wouldn't be the first time. If these snakes are coming in from South Africa, there are two things in abundance in South Africa, racial hatred and diamonds.
Esposito: Smuggling diamonds in live snakes.
Beckett: Mickey's attacker said that there were millions at stake...
Castle: And the dumbwaiter goes right down into the pet store. That's why the Maitlans' trip had to be this week. They knew the shipment was coming in. And then the ketamine...
Beckett: Was to dope the snakes, so they could take them up the shaft without a fight. And then when we came to the store...
Castle: The owner couldn't say a word, otherwise he's implicate himself in smuggling.
Beckett: So, we find out who robbed him...
Castle: We find the Third Man.
Ryan: Do they know they're finishing each other's sentences?
Beckett: Have uniforms pick up the owner, we'll meet you at the store.
Brad approaches Amanda as they return to the dining room.
Brad Dekker: Hey, is this seat taken? My name's Brad.
Beckett: What should we tell them?
Castle: This is going to be awkward.
They look back and Brad is sitting with Amanda.
Beckett: They'll be okay.
Ryan and Esposito get out of their unmarked as Beckett and Castle hop out of a cab.
Beckett: Is the owner in custody?
Ryan: Wife said he was here working late. Place looks closed.
Beckett takes a gun out of her purse.
Beckett: Okay, Castle, hold my purse. Follow me.
They enter in the pet shop, guns drawn.
Esposito: Ready? Let's go.
They search the back room.
Esposito: Room all clear.
Ryan: Here, too.
A shot is fired and the glass cage behind Castle shatters.
Castle: Whoa!
Beckett: NYPD!
The shop owner, Noel du Preez aims a gun at them.
Detectives: Drop the weapon!
Beckett: Get down! Down!
Ryan and Esposito bring du Preez to the ground and cuff him.
Noel du Preez: I didn't know you were the police!
Beckett: Hey, you okay?
Castle: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Takes a lot more than that to scare me.
Beckett: What about a big hairy spider on your shoulder?
Castle: Yeah, that would do it.
Beckett points at the tarantula climbing up Castle's shoulder.
Castle: Gah!
In the interview room.
Noel du Preez: I didn't know you were the police. I have a right to defend my store.
Beckett: Defend from who, Mr. du Preez? According to customs, you took possession of two black-tailed pythons.
Noel du Preez: Which is not a crime.
Castle: No. But black-tailed pythons are indigenous to India, so why ship them in from South Africa?
Noel du Preez: My suppliers are there. There is nothing illegal about my business.
Castle: Then where are the snakes?
Beckett: They weren't in the store, and we didn't find any invoices indicating that they were sold.
Castle: You know what we did find? A color grader, a UV Lamp, and a karat weight scale.
Beckett: All tools of the diamond trade. So what happened, Mr. du Preez? Because we think someone broke into your store, came down the dumbwaiter shaft and stole your shipment of diamonds. Now that's your problem. My problem is that they left two bodies behind. Okay. Fine. You don't want to implicate yourself, I get it. So, I'm simply going to ask, who knew about the shipment? Come on, Mr. du Preez. Don't you want us to find them? Who knew? Who did you tell?
Noel du Preez: I told no one.
Beckett: Mr. du Preez...
Noel du Preez: I picked up my cargo at the airport personally, and I locked them in my office. The next day, they were gone.
Beckett puts photos on the table of Anton "Scarface" Francis and Douglass Bishop.
Beckett: Do you recognize either of these men?
Noel du Preez: No. I've never seen any of them in my life. It's the truth.
In the observation room.
Castle: Robbing a smuggler. It's almost a perfect crime. And the victim can't go to the police without admitting his own crime.
Beckett: Someone knew that shipment was coming in. Someone had it planned. Where are we on Doug's client list?
Ryan: We ran every client Doug ever had and we got nada.
Esposito: Just to be thorough, we showed their DMV photos to Mickey. None of them were our mysterious Third Man.
Castle: It had to be someone du Preez would never expect.
Ryan: Someone connected to his pet store in some capacity? An old employee, perhaps?
Esposito: He would have to have known the shipment was coming in.
Castle: Yeah, someone who knew his timetable. Maybe someone du Preez had sent to the airport previously to pick up a shipment.
Beckett: Out to the airport.
Castle: What was that?
Beckett: Run all of the paperwork from du Preez's last shipment. Customs, Fish and Wildlife, the shipping company, everything. I want to know who knew what and when.
Castle: You think someone at the airport caught on to du Preez's smuggling? Decided to rob him instead of report him?
Beckett: Not only that, I think I know who.
At the interview lounge, Melanie and Stan Kopek, Doug's sister and brother-in-law enter the precinct.
Beckett: Mr. and Mrs. Kopek, thank you for coming in so late. Please.
Melanie Kopek: Sorry it took so long. Stan was at work when you called.
Beckett: Oh, right. You said that the last time that you saw your brother was at the agency's party around where Stan works?
Melanie Kopek: That's right.
Beckett: Could you refresh my memory, Mr. Kopek. Where is it that you work?
Stan Kopek: It… It's late. Could… Could you just please tell us what you found out?
Beckett: Well, I didn't really put everything together until I remembered your wife's story about the party. At the airport.
Beckett pulls out a document.
Stan Kopek: What's this?
Beckett: It's a customs form, Mr. Kopek, authorizing the release of cargo to a Mr. Noel du Preez, signed by you.
Stan Kopek: Yeah, so I… I work for customs. What's… What's the big deal?
Melanie Kopek: What's going on, Stan?
Stan Kopek: I have no idea.
Beckett: Sure you do. When you realized what Mr. du Preez was doing, smuggling diamonds, you said to yourself, "Why should I give him up to those ungrateful bastards? Why not just take care of it myself?"
Melanie Kopek: Stan...
Castle: Then all you needed to do was pull the import permits from Fish and Wildlife to determine when the next shipment would be. But you needed someone with connections to fencing stolen goods.
Beckett: And so you contacted Anton Francis, a con man and an old high school buddy who'd been in and out of jail for years. The easy score was money to his ears. But you needed to get the Maitlans out of town for a couple of days first.
Castle: And that's when your brother-in-law, Doug, came in. What did you do, Stan? Did you play on his dreams? Tell him he could finally afford that scuba shop he always wanted?
Melanie Kopek: Stan, what did you do?
Stan Kopek: Nothing. Nothing. I… I don't know...
Beckett: Mrs. Kopek, your husband killed your brother.
Stan Kopek: That's ri...
Melanie Kopek: Stan!
Stan Kopek: Hon, they're lying. That's… That's ridiculous.
Castle: We have a witness, Mr. Kopek. The squatter you tried to kill identified you from a photo array less than an hour ago.
Melanie Kopek: Oh, god.
Stan Kopek: No. No. It was... It wasn't supposed to happen like this. No one was supposed to get hurt. Doug, he just… He wouldn't listen. I didn't mean.. Anton, he came after me. He… That was self-defense. I'm not… I'm not a killer.
Beckett: We have two bodies that prove otherwise.
Stan Kopek: It just got out of hand. Things just spun out of control.
Melanie Kopek: Get him away from me.
Stan Kopek: Honey, it's…
Esposito pulls out his cuffs.
Esposito: On your feet.
Stan Kopek: I did it for us. It was all for us, baby.
In the hallway.
Mickey Carlson: And you guys thought I made the whole thing up.
Castle: I believed you the whole time.
Mickey Carlson: So, what happens to me now? I go back to the holding cell? Or am I headed to The Tombs?
Beckett: Neither. For your cooperation in the apprehension of Stan Kopek, the ADA has agrees to a deal. Five years probation for all your sins.
Mickey Carlson: No jail time?
Beckett: You have a shot at a second chance, Mickey.
Castle: Don't blow it.
Mickey Carlson: I won't. Hey, thanks for everything. Really, thank you. Alright.
Mickey leaves.
Beckett: Oh, man, I can't wait to go home, and just slip into a warm bath and...
Castle: I have...
Beckett: Don't. Please? Don't.
Castle: I was just going to say I'm starving. We left the restaurant before I had a chance to finish my entree.
Beckett: Ah, yeah. Well, it wouldn't have mattered if you did. The portions there were tiny.
Castle: Eh. You know, Remy's is open all night. They've got those burgers.
Beckett: Oh, and those shakes.
Castle takes her dress bag and offers her his arm.
Beckett: Oh, why not?
Castle: Mmm.
She takes his arm and twirls her hair as they walk towards the elevator.
Beckett: So, how did your date go?
Castle: She was kind of boring. Didn't talk much. Mr. July?
Beckett: A little self-absorbed.
Castle: Looked it.
Beckett: Really?
Castle: I can tell. Some people just don't know how to behave on a date.
Beckett: Especially on a first date.
Castle: Exactly.
